Never
by Anushka
Summary: Prequel to She knew and Familiar. Sara has a meeting with Mobley which makes Grissom suspicious. He blows up at her, but she is more worried about someone else. Pairing NS


**Disclaimer**: I do not own any of the characters. They belong to their creators. If they belonged to me Jorja Fox and George Eads would have never been fired.

**A/N**: This is some sort of prequel to "**Familiar**" and "**She knew**". I wanted to write a sequel and maybe I will some day, but this story just popped up and wouldn't leave me alone, so I had to write it down. BTW my way of describing Mobley's character is totally opposite from how he is portrayed in the show, but I just needed the character the way I wrote it, so please go along with it. I don't know much about legal stuff, so maybe sealing of case files is not possible, but in my story it is. Hope you enjoy.

**Pairing**: N/S

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**Never**

"Hey Grissom, send Sara Sidle to my office as soon as she comes in, will you?"

Grissom turned around to face Sheriff Mobley.

"If you need something from one of my CSIs, you can ask me," he stated.

"No, I do not need something, I need her. I can call her myself, but the sooner I can talk to her the better. There is no need to object because the last time I checked I still was your superior."

Grissom raised his eyebrows, wanting to continue the conversation, but Mobley had already walked away. He wondered what Mobley wanted from Sara. Did he know about the DUI? He was getting upset, because he didn't know what Mobley wanted from Sara. Then again Sara had been able to upset him on many more occasions the last couple of weeks. He had taken it out on her as well. He knew it wasn't fair, because she hadn't done anything to provoke him. If he had to be honest to himself that was what bothered him. She had distanced herself from him. She had always sought his approval, but after the DUI he had noticed that slowly but surely she was turning away from him. He knew that to some extent he was to blame for the DUI and when she changed her behavior towards him, he figured that she must have some other problems. Instead of confronting her, he asked Brass to check up on her once in a while. Once they had been friends, but when she came to work under his supervision her emotions just got too much for him. He couldn't even deal with his own emotions, dealing with hers would be overwhelming.

When he entered the break room he saw her sitting on the couch. She was practically sitting on Nick's lap and they were laughing about something. A surge of jealousy went through his body, before he realized it he snapped at them: "Don't you have work to do?!" He startled them and immediately regretted his harsh tone. Quietly he continued, "Sara, Mobley wants to see you in his office now." She didn't look surprised. She just nodded, which upset him. Did she know what Mobley wanted? Did she request to talk to his superior? It made him feel insecure.

Nick looked up to her questioningly, she just shrugged letting him know she would be alright. "I will meet up with you in garage," she softly spoke. Nick knew not to push her. He had learned that after she had showed up at his doorstep after the DUI. No one knew he knew. They had been spending a lot of time together and he knew that if she wanted to talk she would come to him if she was ready. He recognized the haunted look she got when she didn't want to talk. The look in her eyes so familiar to his own.

Sara knew what Mobley wanted. Her friend from the NYPD had called her telling her they were closing her case, because there was no further lead to continue the investigation. They would be sending the case file over to the LVPD to be filed in her personal file, but they also told her she would be able to get the case file sealed, so no one would be able to access it in the future. She didn't expect to get upset by the call, but she did. She woke up screaming one day after she drifted of to sleep while she was over at Nick's apartment. He had comforted her and told her it was okay. He told her he also had nightmares occasionally. "Just blame it on the job," he had told her, but something in his eyes had told her he wasn't completely honest with her. She didn't want to push him though, he never pushed her into talking to him. She just had to be patient. He would open up to her eventually. She hoped he would.

After knocking on Mobley's office door, she entered his office. It was a large, clear office and actually quite nice. He motioned her to close the door behind her and to take a seat.

"Sara, I want you to know that everything said in this office today will be off the record," Mobley said smiling at her. She didn't know Mobley very well personally. She knew Grissom didn't particularly get along with him and she agreed with Grissom that forensics had no room for politics and Mobley was the one bringing politics into forensics. Mobley's demeanor and facial expression did seem to calm her down though.

"I guess you already know why you are here. I received a call yesterday that the NYPD would be sending your case file over. I haven't read the case file, just the summary. I take it you want it to get sealed," he said looking up to her.

She was trying to control her emotions. Talking seemed impossible at the moment. Luckily Mobley continued.

"You know Sara, if you ever want to talk to someone about this, you can always drop by. I know what it is like."

This statement shocked her. Before she could ask what he meant, he continued.

"My sister was raped and killed when she was 20. There is not a day that goes by I don't think about her and what she went through. You are...."

"Lucky," she finished his sentence.

"No, that's not what I wanted to say. Brave is more the word. Even though I miss my sister every day a part of me is glad she died. I don't think she would have been able to live with what happened to her. It amazes me how people can go on after going through something so horrific."

"Life goes on," she whispered.

"Yes, it does, but for you to chose this line of work, it must be hard sometimes. You may not know this, but I started out as a CSI as well, but I couldn't cope with it and on top of that very soon I discovered that if you wanted to make something happen you had to be at the top. That's why I am so driven."

She had never known about this and it sure made things more clear.

"Thank you," it was all she seemed to get out, but it had more meanings to it than one.

"I will arrange the sealing, don't worry about it."

She thanked him once again and started to get up to leave his office when he continued talking.

"Sara, I was meaning to ask you: What did you think about the events surrounding the promotion?"

"It could have gone either way. Grissom must have had his reasons to recommend Nick," she answered him hesitantly not knowing what he was getting at.

"I was surprised Grissom didn't recommend you. You have the highest solve rate of the lab and he did hand pick you to come and work here. I assumed he would recommend you."

She didn't know she had the highest solve rate, but that didn't matter.

"In this line of work you learn not to assume things," she responded. "Besides that Nick is a great CSI. He deserved the promotion as much as I did, I would say more so."

"There is another promotion opportunity coming up. I will make sure I will recommend you."

"Don't!" The fierceness of her reply shocked Mobley. "I won't be putting in for a promotion any time soon. Not getting the promotion made me realize I'm happy where I am today. I still want to learn so many things and improve my investigation skills. Nick deserves the promotion, not only because he got it the last time, but because his work ethic is something to be jealous of. He is accurate, works hard and doesn't leave a stone unturned, but he also always has time for the victims or their loved ones. If someone deserves your recommendation it is Nick."

She smiled shyly at Mobley, who smiled back. "Remind me to offer you a Public Affairs position as soon as one is available."

She turned around and left Mobley's office.

Shift had been long and Nick had been glancing at her when he thought she wasn't looking. Finally she told him she was okay and that the lab was not the place to get into things. The look in his eyes had been bothering her. She knew that she wouldn't be able to keep up the masquerade any longer. She had to let him in. Needed to let him in or else she would lose him. She wasn't willing to loose him. She needed to let him know that the hurt in his eyes hurt her more than her own pain. She never believed in friendships, but what she had with Nick was something she cherished.

They entered the break room ready to have a debriefing session and finish up for the night. Grissom walked in looking aggravated. He immediately turned to her. "How could you do it? Don't you have any sense loyalty? Really Sara, I thought more of you," he barked in her face. When she didn't respond, he continued, "You go to my superior and question my recommendation regarding the promotion."

Sara felt like her brain stopped working. This wasn't happening. She had to explain to Nick that this wasn't true, that she never questioned Grissom's decision to his superior. Suddenly she realized Grissom had stopped yelling. She turned around to face Nick. She was well aware that everyone in the break room was watching her. She couldn't read Nick's face. She had to convince him Grissom had it all wrong.

"No, please, no," was all she could say. Seeing Nick's confused expression, she continued "You have to believe me, I would never do something like that. Not to you, never. You are more important than my job, Nicky, please tell me you believe me. The meeting with Mobley was not about the promotion, it was personal." By now tears were running freely. She got up and ran out of the break room, leaving everyone confused about what had just transpired.

Nick got up sending an angry glare towards Grissom. "You don't know her very well, do you Grissom," he said leaving the break room in the direction Sara just left.

Nick knew Sara would never do the things Grissom accused her of. He had been shocked Grissom could even think she could have, but then again Grissom's way of logic regarding Sara had always been screwed. He had to let her know that he wasn't like Grissom. He wasn't afraid to get hurt. How could living without her be more painful than living with her? He had been scared of that familiar look in her eyes, but not anymore, she had opened up to him in the break room and showed her soul to him. It was only fair he would return the favor.

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**A/N **If you want to know what happened next read "**Familiar**" and "**She knew**", maybe there will be a sequel, but I have to think about that:-) Please R&R, your comments are much appreciated. 


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